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Revising Fiction: The Seven Deadly Sins of Writing Dialogue

Posted on February 2, 2016 by

by Kirt Hickman

Realistic dialogue is one of the most difficult things for some writers to achieve. Compressing your dialogue to as few words as possible will help. If you’ve done that and the dialogue still rings false, look between your quotation marks for these deadly sins.

Everyday Dialogue
Skip the pleasantries every reader knows occur at the beginning and end of a conversation:

“Hi.”
“How are you?”
“I’m fine. How are you?”

It’s boring. Start the conversation at the point where it becomes interesting.

Informative Dialogue
Never have a character say something that everybody in the conversation already knows.

Consider this passage from an early draft of my science fiction novel Worlds Asunder in which Snider speaks with the manager of Stellarfare, a commuter starline:

“May I remind you,” Snider said, “that NASA is your regulatory authority. I can revoke your license to fly from Lunar Alpha.”

“Don’t bully me. NASA is funded by taxation of the businesses that operate from its bases. Stellarfare alone supplies a third of that funding for Lunar Alpha.”

Both characters know this and the only person who doesn’t know this is the reader. That’s who these characters are talking to, not to each other.

Informative dialogue can often be corrected by moving the information from the dialogue to the thoughts of your viewpoint character:

“I’ll revoke your license to fly from Lunar Alpha.” Snider’s voice shook with forced civility.

“Don’t bully me. Revoke our license and it’ll be the last thing you do as director. When you’re replaced, we’ll return.”

He was right. Damn it, the manager was right. Stellarfare provided a third of NASA’s funding for Lunar Alpha. Snider’s threat had only solidified the man’s resolve.

Direct Address
Direct address occurs when a character says the name of the person he’s addressing:

“What time is it, Jennifer?”
She consulted her watch. “Four o’clock, Tommy.”

Notice how natural the dialogue feels when I remove the characters’ names from the spoken lines:

“What time is it?” Tommy asked suddenly.
Jennifer consulted her watch. “Four o’clock. “

Self-talk
Often, when a character talks to himself, the author is using contrived dialogue to relay the character’s thoughts, as is done in this passage from a critique submission (reprinted with the author’s permission):

“I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack Truck,” he moaned. “Where am I anyway?”

He rolled his eyes from side to side and tried to think. “I can’t see a thing,” he said aloud and tried to sit up again. This time the ground moved beneath him.

“Oh oh,” he said. “An earthquake?” He tried to concentrate. “Naw. It’s not like that at all. It feels more like ball bearings rolling around under me.”

Because your scene is written from your character’s viewpoint, you can communicate his thoughts without having him say them out loud:

Luke’s body ached like he’d been run over by a Mack Truck. He rolled his eyes from side to side in the darkness to clear his head.

The earth began to shake. Not like an earthquake. More like ball bearings rolling around beneath him. “Whoa.” It was the strangest thing he’d ever felt.

Mismatched Dialogue, Actions, and Emotion
Consider the following passage:

Jorge slammed his fist on the table. “Well, you know, I really don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

If the speaker’s words are inconsistent with his actions, the reader won’t believe whatever emotion you’re trying to show. Make your character’s dialogue match his emotions:

Jorge slammed his fist on the table. “Over my cold carcass.”

Overuse of the Exclamation Point
Reserve exclamation points for when your character is genuinely shouting.

Neglecting to Read Out Loud
Once you’ve purged all of the sins described above, read your dialogue scene out loud for sound and pacing. Does it sound natural? Does it have the rhythm of speech? Is it tense and engaging? Have you achieved the desired pace? Only then will you know if it’s effective.

Kirt Hickman is a technical writer turned fiction author. His books include three sci-fi thriller novels Worlds Asunder (2008), Venus Rain (2010) and Mercury Sun (2014), the high fantasy novel Fabler’s Legend (2011), and the writers’ how-to Revising Fiction: Making Sense of the Madness (2009).

This article was originally published in the June 2009 issue of SouthWest Sage, and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

An Interview with Author Jasmine Tritten

Posted on January 28, 2016 by

Jasmine Tritten is an author and artist whose grand adventure from her native Denmark to the Americas was decided by the flip of a coin. She now makes her home in Corrales, New Mexico with her husband, her very own Prince Charming. The memoir Journey of an Adventuresome Dane (2015) is Jasmine’s debut book. You can find her on Facebook and LinkedIn, and see examples of her oil paintings at New Mexico Artists’ Market. For a complete listing of Jasmine’s published work, go to her SWW Author Page.

What is your elevator pitch for The Journey of an Adventuresome Dane?
I left my home country Denmark at age twenty-one seeking adventure. I took chances and overcame fears and obstacles. My memoir depicts my evolution—an odyssey across time and space.

When readers turn the last page of your book, what do you hope they will take away from it?
Inspiration to write about their own lives. Maybe the courage to take the risk of changing their lives for the better.

What unique challenges did this work pose for you?
I had to decide how vulnerable I wanted to be and dig deep into my memory bank to find the most life-changing incidents.

What was the most rewarding aspect of writing your memoir?
Getting an overview and perspective of my life, processing emotionally charged episodes by reliving them.

Tell us about your process in putting the book together.
It took me about three years to write the book. I already had most of the stories in my head. The details came from two sources: journals I had written since I was a teenager and letters I had written to my mother every two weeks since I left Denmark in 1964. She kept all the letters in an old oak trunk. Each time I visited my mother in Copenhagen during the last four years, I brought some of the letters back with me to New Mexico. For the editing cycle, I belonged to a critique group for one and a half years. Also several times I put my writing away for six months, then looked at the work again with new eyes and revised it over and over again.

What makes this book unique in the memoir market?
There are not many written immigration stories except for the obvious Roots. Also, I am the first person in my Danish family, going back hundreds of years, who immigrated.

When did you know you wanted to write your story? What prompted the final push to begin?
Just before my 70th birthday, I waited to zip-line in Angel Fire at 10,600 feet. When I looked down, I saw my life in front of my eyes and decided to sum together those highlights in a book.

What did writing your memoir teach you about yourself?
I am a strong, optimistic, creative person with a positive outlook and a zest for living life to the fullest. I am not afraid of tackling what life has to offer.

How has your artistic nature helped you in your writing journey?
Some people tell me I paint pictures with words. I am an ultra-sensitive soul. Maybe because of that it is easier for me to describe what I see and feel.

What part do beta readers or critique groups play in your writing process?
Both are extremely valuable to my writing process, and I am grateful for each person who volunteers to critique my writing. I try to help other writers in a similar way and learn a lot from each person.

What is your writing routine like?
I don’t have a schedule. Since I am both a writer and an artist, I switch between the two. Many times I wake up at four in the morning with great ideas. Quickly I put them down on paper to be typed later. In 2014, I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) as a Rebel [choosing to write other than a novel] and wrote over 50,000 words toward my memoir.

If you suffer from writer’s block, how do you break through?
By journaling.

Who are your favorite authors, and what do you admire most about their writing?
I greatly admire fellow Dane Karen Blixen (also known as Isak Dinesen) who wrote Out of Africa, for her strength and adventuresome spirit. She wrote such wonderful descriptions. I identify with her in many ways. Also, Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat-Pray-Love for her sense of humor, and Wayne Dyer for his honest, spiritual, and inspirational approach in all of his books.

What do you think draws readers to memoirs and biographies?
Personally, I am interested in other people’s lives, how they got to where they are, and how they overcame their obstacles or fulfilled their dreams.

KLWagoner150_2 KL Wagoner (writing as Cate Macabe) is the author of This New Mountain: a memoir of AJ Jackson, private investigator, repossessor, and grandmother. She has a new speculative fiction blog at klwagoner.com and writes about memoir at ThisNewMountain.com.

Grammatically Correct: Mixed Constructions Nonsense

Posted on January 26, 2016 by

by Dodici Azpadu

As writers, we can be lulled by careless speech into thinking that what we hear is correct on paper.

The reason the Yankees lost the series was because of their pitching.Sounds correct, doesn’t it? Phrases like the following often result in mixed construction: is when, is where, the reason … is or was.

These words suggest place, time, and causality; however, place, time, and causality often do not make sense with the verbs is, are, was, or were. After forms of the verb to be (is, are, was, were), a noun that renames the subject or an adjective that modifies the subject is customary. In the example above was is followed by an adverbial clause because of their pitching. The correct way to write the sentence is:

The Yankees lost the series because of their pitching.Misplaced, Limited and Dangling Modifiers
Mixed constructions are frequently related to misplaced and dangling modifiers because errors in these groups do not make logical or grammatical sense. Misplaced limiting modifiers are epidemic in speech. Use the following limiting modifiers cautiously: only, even, almost, nearly and just.

I only want my father to pay for tuition.In this sentence, only modifies the verb want. Surely the speaker has other wants. Do not put a limiting modifier in front of a verb, unless you intend to modify the verb. The rule is to place a limiting modifier directly in front of the word or words it modifies. The meaning of a sentence changes depending on where only is placed.

I want only my father to pay for tuition.
I want my father to pay for tuition only.Consider another example of a misplaced limiting modifier.

I just went to the grocery store, not to the bar.Just modifies went, but to what purpose? Correctly written, just limits grocery store, not went, as in the example that follows.

I went just to the grocery store, not to the bar.Sometimes you do want to limit the verb, as in the following example.

Sometimes, I can’t even find the keyboard, much less strike the keys.You may leave the grammatical subtleties to a paid copy editor, or you can save money by avoiding the faulty construction, which is often wordy as well as incorrect.

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!

Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the June 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

The Writing Life: The Good Fight

Posted on January 21, 2016 by

by Olive Balla

The current economy has become a tough sparring partner for those of us who dream of seeing our stories in print. Many budding writers, after having been rejected for the umpteenth time, are tempted to crawl off into a corner and lick their wounds while hugging their latest manuscript to their bosoms. After finally getting a bellyful of rejection, a friend of mine—a published playwright with two sold and performed plays under her belt—has permanently packed away her storytelling persona. That’s not only sad, but it’s a loss to our culture.

It’s not that I can’t relate to my friend. I can.

More than one agent has responded to my email query with words decrying harsh fiscal realities and suggesting my story might be marketable in less turbulent times. One soft-hearted agent actually apologized for turning me down. She offered words of comfort, saying her refusal did not mean my writing was not good; in fact, she’d spent a great deal of time in making her decision, but she could only accept authors who were a “surefire” sell.

So, where does that leave those of us who are not of the J.K. Rowling ilk? What are the options available to those of us who would be thrilled just to have our work out there, and hopefully, being read—even if our readership might not number in the tens of thousands? The good news is that there are still some avenues open to today’s writers.

Many authors are opting to self-publish, shouldering the task of marketing their own books. This approach can not only cost a great deal of the author’s up-front money, but is heavily contingent upon the amount of time the author is willing, or able, to put into selling herself.

Other writers have put their stories online, selling them for 99 cents a pop as Ebooks. This tactic has potential, especially when there are so many folks willing to risk 99 cents on a virtual book rather than spend eight dollars for a paperback.

Some shop their books to small publishing houses in hopes that having one published book will lead to heightened marketability for the next. But a small publisher often does not pay an advance, much less an advance for future books. I know one writer who was thrilled to have her first book published by a small house, but had to start all over again when the publisher went bankrupt.

One thing for sure, the art of writing has metamorphosed into a completely different creature from what it was 50 years ago. Or perhaps the art itself has not changed so much as has its audience. People whose lives are scheduled in five-minute increments simply don’t have the time, or the patience, to slog through an initial ten pages of description before getting to the meat of a story. For those of us who feel it necessary to bring the reader up to speed on characters and their pre-story lives, this presents a challenge. At what point in the story should we describe our protagonist’s physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional attributes? How much detail should we offer about the setting?

Having spent hundreds of dollars on how-to writing books, I’ve found one golden thread that connects them all: if I want my fiction to be published, I must adopt a marketable style of writing and I must know my audience.

But isn’t writing merely to sell prostituting the craft? That depends upon one’s perspective, as well as one’s goals. Every writer comes to a fork in the path and must make a choice: she can stubbornly stick to her style and be satisfied with the superlatives offered by friends and family; or she can sharpen her technique so that complete strangers will not only want to read her stories, but will pay to do so.

As for me, my storyteller’s head may be bloodied, but remains unbowed. To give energy to the thought of hanging up my writer’s crop and jodhpurs is anathema to me. Because the escapism of fiction brought me through a difficult stretch in my life, I will continue to find time to close out the rest of the world and catapult my senses into other times, other places, and other dimensions. I will continue tweaking, refining, and querying. I will continue to pay my subscriptions to various writers’ magazines, I will enter writing contests, and I will continue to connect with other writers at meetings and conferences. But most importantly, to paraphrase Winston Churchill: I will never, never, never give up.

Olive Balla, author of suspense novel An Arm and a Leg, is mother of 3, grandmother to 13, great-grandmother of 4, a retired educator, and part-time professional musician. Having been everything from secretary at a used car dealership, a university student, and a high school Spanish teacher, Balla states her characters are, in part, amalgamations of people she’s met. Living with her husband Victor in the Albuquerque area, she spends her spare time in a small woodworking shop designing and building everything from breadboxes and wine racks, to a porch bench. Visit her website at omballa.com.

This article was originally published in the June 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

Songwriting: The Basics

Posted on January 19, 2016 by

by Robyn Mackenzie

So you want to write songs? Awesome! Music is a powerful and accessible medium with the ability to reach audiences of all ages. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know where to start. With the melody? The lyrics? The glittery outfit for the music video? The truth is that songwriting is just like any other form of writing. The only way it will happen is if you write. Here are a few guidelines to help you get started on the right track.

Write What You Know
(Yes, it’s a cliché. Get over it.)

Had a heartbreak recently? Write about it. Something in the political world got your feathers ruffled? Write about it. Love your cat? Write about it. Songs are an extremely versatile medium and anything goes as far as subject matter. Many newbie songwriters believe that, in order for a song to be good, it needs to be a deep soliloquy on matters of romance or internal conflict. And certainly many songs about these subjects have been great successes. However, one need look no further than the Toby Keith hit “Red Solo Cup” to know that even the little things can make successful songs.

No Instrument? No Problem
You don’t need to be a musician in order to be a songwriter. Many songwriters stick to lyrics only, and collaborate with musicians to come up with a melody and chord progression that works. Certainly having some musical training helps, but it’s not necessary. If being involved in the musical aspect of songwriting is important to you, try taking piano lessons, or getting books on music theory, or asking a musician friend to sit down with you and go over some basics.

The main musical idea lyricists tend to struggle with is meter, or how many beats go in a measure. One line of lyrics is generally about 1-2 measures long, so it needs to be pretty concise. Tap a beat on your leg or desk if it helps. A line like, “Since you’ve been gone, it feels like there’s been a layer of ice all over my heart” may be a little clunky, but “Since you’ve been gone, my heart’s turned to ice” flows more smoothly and creates a stronger image.

You Don’t Have to Rhyme to Have a Good Time
Some great lyrics have crashed and burned because a songwriter felt they had to make a perfect rhyme. “Your smile was like a shining star” is an evocative image, but if you rhyme it with “When I met you in that bar,” it’s going to create a certain tone for your listeners that you may or may not have intended (i.e., that particular rhyme would be great for a country song, but don’t try it in a sensitive love ballad). Ask yourself: “What kind of feelings do I want my listeners to have? Is there another word that evokes that feeling, even if it doesn’t rhyme?” In some cases, choosing not to rhyme can make a lyric more powerful. You poets out there are well aware of this already. That being said, if you haven’t studied or written poetry before, check out some books and learn about the different kinds of rhyme, such as imperfect rhyme, internal rhyme, and other rhyme schemes.

On that note, songs are NOT poetry set to music. Not always. What makes an amazing poem will not necessarily make an amazing song. This doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t learn from poetry, or that you can’t start with a poem and turn it into a song. Just be aware that they have different forms and presentation methods.

Challenge Yourself and Have Fun!
You don’t need me to tell you this—writing can be SCARY. The good thing about songs, as opposed to, say, novels, is that they’re fairly short and you don’t need as much detail to tell a story. So have fun with it! Try experimenting with different genres, voices, POVs, and subject matter. Work with other songwriters.

A great place to start (or continue!) is February Album Writing Month (FAWM), an online challenge to write 14 songs in 28 days. It’s like National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) for songwriters! You can post your work and get feedback, connect with other songwriters all over the world, and participate in challenges. It’s a close-knit and supportive community, and its members are of varying experience and musical ability. There are plenty of lyrics-only writers as well as musicians, and collaboration is highly encouraged. You can sign up at FAWM.org. It’s free, and I promise you’ll make some great friends in the process. And who knows? Perhaps one of those 14 songs of yours will go on to be a hit. Happy writing, and I hope to see you around FAWM!

Robyn Mackenzie is a musician and writer from Edgewood, New Mexico. She recently graduated from the University of New Mexico with a self-designed Bachelor’s degree in the Arts and Education. She is a yearly participant in February Album Writing Month, an online challenge to write 14 songs in 28 days, and a similar challenge called 50/90. As well as songwriting, Robyn enjoys writing fiction and cheesy graphic novels. Her debut album, “Of Dreams and Dust,” was released in September 2010. You can find her on Facebook and Fawm.org.

This article was originally published in the February 2012 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

An Interview with Author Lee Higbie

Posted on January 14, 2016 by

Lee Higbie is a past president of SouthWest Writers and co-founder/author liaison of Scribl, a new e-publishing company. A former computer engineer, he now writes fiction under the pen name BJ Creighton. His standalone novel No Sanctuary was published in 2015. You can find Lee on LinkedIn and at HigbieAuthors.com, the website he shares with his wife Betty.

What is your elevator pitch for No Sanctuary?
Paul Capodicasa, a wealthy benefactor of Rowe Sanctuary, is bludgeoned to death in one of its blinds. Detective Bobbie Lee must solve the murder while avoiding interference from the Mafia and her district attorney uncle. She must also confront the possibility that her son is the murderer.

What inspired you to write the book?
While volunteering at Nebraska’s Rowe Sanctuary, I was inspired by its photo blinds—much smaller than a jail cell. Two people are locked in these blinds from late afternoon until mid-morning the next day. One look and it was obvious the photographers could be at each other’s throats by the time they were let out.

What makes this novel unique in the murder mystery market?
The detective is forced to confront the probability that her son, given up for adoption 22 years earlier, is the perp. Much of the story revolves around rape—the detective’s rape (leading to the son) and the murderer’s rape in jail, both as teenagers.

What challenges did this work pose for you?
Writing from the point of view of a woman. Initially, Bobbie Lee behaved too much like a man. In early drafts, her behavior was not believable.

Why did you decide to use the particular setting you chose?
Rowe Sanctuary chose me, not the other way around.

What is your favorite scene in No Sanctuary?
The scene where Bobbie Lee nearly drowns trying to cross the Platte River.

Why did you decide to use a pen name?
Two reasons, the first is personal that I won’t go into. The other is that my wife Betty helped me with the novel, and I created a pseudonym that is a combination of our names. From a purely marketing perspective, there are advantages to using different names for completely different types of books.

What first inspired you to become a writer?
I’ve been writing for decades and working on fiction for more than ten years. I wrote several science fiction novels, but those were exercises that helped me learn to write fiction.

Who are your favorite authors?
My favorites vary. I’ll go through a period of reading a bunch of novels by one author, but when I start to see the patterns repeating, I often entirely stop reading their work. I have no literary aspirations, only genre fiction.

Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently if you started your publishing career today?
Let me quote Dorothy Parker: If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with a copy of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now while they’re happy.

Why did you decide to take the indie route to publishing?
Mostly because I am not yet good enough—I haven’t written any bestsellers—to be noticed by the legacy publishing establishment.

What part do beta readers or critique groups play in your writing process?
Critique groups were very important some years ago, but I haven’t found a group since moving to New Mexico. Now I use editors instead.

How do you break through writer’s block?
Butt In Chair, Hands on Keyboard (BICHOK).

If you had an unlimited budget, how would you spend your money for marketing and promotion of your books?
I’d hire someone else to market and promote my books because it’s something I’m not good at it.

What are your strengths as a writer?
My strengths are probably my work ethic, knowledge of grammar, and the ability to synthesize research results.

Tell us about Scribl, the e-publishing company you co-founded.
Scribl.com, formerly Scribliotech, is a new publisher of ebooks and audio/ebooks with a unique linking of audio and ebook formats and unique pricing and royalty structures. Scribl started with patented technology to set prices based on popularity. Many authors juggle the prices of their books to increase readership because they’ve found setting a low price can increase sales long after the price has returned to normal. CrowdPricing does this by adjusting the pricing depending on sales. Scribl allows readers to rate books, but we factor in the price a reader paid because readers may think a novel is great for $0.99, but not for $5.99. In addition, we distribute to hundreds of book sites (including Apple, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo), so listing a book with us gives it the widest possible distribution. Also, because some sites sell below wholesale, our royalties can be higher than some competitors in some situations.

What writing projects are you working on now?
I’m just finishing two nonfiction books that I plan to publish in 2016. The first is about wine and is celebratory in tone. It has a lot of illustrations in addition to text. The second is about writing. One of the chapters in the book was published in SWW’s The Storyteller’s Anthology. Both of these projects will end up being about half the size of a novel—more like booklets. I plan to start with print-on-demand, probably through IngramSpark, and e-publish through Scribl once we broaden our list to nonfiction titles (in the very near future).

The Writing Life: On Searching for Purpose

Posted on January 12, 2016 by

by Bentley Clark

I have a confession to make: I don’t know what to write. Now, I don’t mean that I don’t know what to write for this column—although that is a monthly challenge and the source of much teeth gnashing. And I don’t mean that I have writer’s block—although I have been suffering from an extended period of creative constipation. I mean that I don’t know what to write. I have not found my artistic direction or purpose. I am unable to say, “I am a [insert genre here] writer” or “I write [insert form here]” or “I write about [insert insightful thematic topic here].”

In spite of attending conferences and workshops, reading periodicals and following blogs, and in spite of dabbling in several forms and genres, I have yet to experience the creative epiphany to spark my inner artistic tinderbox. The problem isn’t really that I am not drawn to a single genre or form, for all of this literary exposure, but that I am drawn to them all. I want to write scholarly articles for literary journals. I want to write whimsical flash fiction, thrilling short stories and mysterious novels. Oh, turn me loose on screenwriting and see what I can do!

So how to go about reining in this scattershot enthusiasm to focus enough to get myself some artistic direction? To date, I have tried the following:

1. Write what you know. If you’ve met me, you know that the thing I know best of all, my one true love and my arch nemesis, is food. And tea—sweet nectar of the caffeine gods. And yet, I would still rather eat than write about eating and cook rather than write about cooking. Don’t get me wrong, food is art, but I’m not sure that writing about it is my artistic purpose.

2. Find a platform. If a platform communicates your expertise to others, I have to ask “what am I an expert in?” Again… food. Well, that and having no siblings. So, clearly, these two things should be the foundation of my platform. They should be my purpose and direction, right? And yet, being an expert in a thing doesn’t make it your artistic purpose. Maybe my purpose is a genre or topic that I haven’t even tried writing yet. If that’s the case, then platform goes right out the window.

3. Reflect on prior successes. There have been periods in my life when I was prolific and confident. When I was able to strap a muzzle on my inner editor and just keep my head down and write. I wrote well and was proud of it. Shoot, I even won an award now and then. But looking to those times to find direction and purpose for my writing now—and for the future—invites terrifying questions that breed a certain artistic paralysis. Can I write like that again? Are my best days behind me? Best not to look back, really. Better to keep my nose to the grindstone and other platitudes.

There is a mystery and an alchemy to knowing what you are meant to write. I had a friend once tell me that she found her purpose while gently swaying in a hammock in the midsummer gloaming. Absently stroking her cat and nursing a mint julep, she merely conjured it from the magnolia pollen and sunset lithium.

Nah. Not really. But it does seem to be that easy for some, doesn’t it? That their personal identity and artistic purpose are synonymous. That they embody their purpose. I count amongst these purpose-embodiers my Facebook friends: the horror novelist, the science fiction screenwriter, and the contemporary poet. They all seem to have had that hammock-at-the-gloaming epiphany.

But for most of us, it seems more accurate to say that we stumble, drunken-college-student-esque, into our artistic purpose. During lunch at a UNM Department of Continuing Education Start to Sales Conference, my table mates all told stories about how they began writing one thing—a memoir, a travelogue, a textbook—only to discover that they were not, in fact, writing a memoir, travelogue or textbook. And it was the new thing, the thing they hadn’t started out writing that became their passion and defined their purpose. Perhaps that is all purpose-finding is: serendipity.

So, I will continue to proactively stumble towards my purpose. But, just in case my purpose is in search of me as well, I’ll hang my hammock at the corner where serendipity and epiphany intersect.

BentleyClark125 Bentley Clark thinks her artistic purpose may have run away from home. If you happen to find it wandering the streets, alone and bewildered, please leave a comment.

This article was originally published in the June 2012 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

Image “Out Of One’s Head, Relax The Brain” courtesy of thaikrit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Writing In No Time

Posted on January 7, 2016 by

by Chris Eboch

So many things demand our time—job, spouse, children, volunteer work, housework. It’s tempting to say, I’ll write during vacation, or when the kids are back in school, or when the kids leave home, or when I retire ….

Yet if you want to be a writer, you must find time to write.

Becoming a writer requires commitment. If you don’t take your work seriously, your family and friends certainly won’t either. The new year is traditionally a time for resolutions, so make one for your writing self. Let people know how important writing is to you. Insist that writing time is your time, and you must not be disturbed. Carve out a few hours each week. Then close the door and ignore your phone and e-mail, or take your laptop to the library.

Finding even a few hours may seem hopeless when you have young children. Louise Spiegler, author of middle grade novel The Amethyst Road, says, “It is impossible for me to write with my kids awake and active. I either tried to get both kids to nap at the same time or I spent my non-existent savings on two hours of babysitting.”

Try trading babysitting with other writing parents. Or start a play group/writers group: the kids play, the parents write or critique.

Molly Blaisdell, author of the picture book Rembrandt and the Boy Who Drew Dogs: A story about Rembrandt van Rijn, and mother of four, found another creative way to keep her kids busy. “I kept all the special toys in my office. When I wanted to work on a scene, I’d pull down that box and say, “This is quiet time for special toys.’” It would always be good for about half an hour and sometime would go for two hours.”

No Use for a Muse

When your writing time is limited, you can’t afford to waste a moment. After having a baby, Michele Corriel, author of Weird Rocks says, “I still managed to get up before my daughter and cram in even half an hour. The problem with a shorter amount of time is you really have to switch it on.”

Successful writers agree: no waiting for the right mood. Spiegler says, “As soon as the kids were asleep or safely dropped off, I would sit down and start working—no waiting for inspiration.”

The most productive writers work anywhere and everywhere. Jean Daigenau says, “I take advantage of the few minutes of downtime I have at school or home—while I’m eating lunch or supervising the homework group at our after-school latchkey program or soaking in the bathtub.”

If you can’t do serious writing in five-minute bursts, use the time in other ways. Daigenau suggests, “Get it written on the computer and then use those few minutes here and there to revise.”

Christine Liu Perkins, author of At Home in Her Tomb: Lady Dai and the Ancient Chinese Treasures of Mawangdui comments, “When I’m constantly being interrupted, chauffeuring, or sitting in waiting rooms, I brainstorm and pre-write. Wherever I am, I focus on a specific problem for that short session. What points do I want to include in this article? What happens next in the story?”

Compromise

The best organized life can sometimes just get too full. Spiegler, who also teaches college now, cautions against buying into the super-woman myth. “It is almost impossible for me to work at a demanding job and take care of kids and write regularly. The only way I can write is to be teaching something familiar that I can spend less prep time on.”

You can’t do it all, so decide what’s most important. Then look for areas to cut back. Reduce your work hours, or cut commute time with a job closer to home. Commute by bus and write as you ride. Arrange car pools or play dates for your kids. Dictate into a tape recorder as you walk for exercise. Let the housework slide, and make quick meals. Cut back on email, web surfing or TV. Try keeping a journal of your activities for a week to find out just how much time you waste.

Put your family to work as well. Train your kids (or spouse) to do housework and some of the cooking—they’ll learn important skills while you get free time!

When a real crisis intrudes—sick kids, ailing parents, a job change or divorce—you may need to take time off from writing. Just don’t let it drag on forever. Plan how you’ll handle the crisis, and schedule a time to return to writing. In the meantime, read writing magazines or books for a few minutes each week to keep your focus.

How about your time? Where does writing fit in your life?

Decide, and make a commitment to your work. Then repeat this mantra: I am a writer, and writers write.

Chris Eboch writes fiction and nonfiction for all ages. In Bandits Peak, a teenage boy meets strangers hiding on the mountains and gets drawn into their crimes, until he risks his life to expose them. The Eyes of Pharaoh is an action-packed mystery set in ancient Egypt. The Genie’s Gift is an Arabian Nights-inspired fantasy adventure. In The Well of Sacrifice, a Mayan girl in ninth-century Guatemala rebels against the High Priest who sacrifices anyone challenging his power. Her writing craft books include You Can Write for Children: How to Write Great Stories, Articles, and Books for Kids and Teenagers and Advanced Plotting.

Learn more at www.chriseboch.com or her Amazon page, or check out her writing tips at her Write Like a Pro! blog. Sign up for her Workshop newsletter for classes and critique offers.

Chris also writes novels of suspense and romance for adults under the name Kris Bock; read excerpts at www.krisbock.com.

This article was originally published in the January 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

Revising Fiction: Is it Show? How can you Tell?

Posted on January 5, 2016 by

by Kirt Hickman

You’ve heard it before: Never tell something you can show. This is a difficult concept for many new writers, but it’s crucial. It lurks beneath a multitude of self editing sins: problems ranging from passive voice to information dumps and narrative summary, to absence of tension, and others. Telling the story, rather than showing it, gives it the detached feel of a news article. It keeps the reader from experiencing it as though she is the viewpoint character. It leeches the importance—the very life—out of the events.

What is Tell?

How do you know if you’re showing or telling? My rule of thumb is simple.

You may state facts:

Gerri threw the contract onto the floor, snatched up her coat and stormed from the room.Don’t draw conclusions for your reader¹:

Gerri was angry.In the first sentence, you see Gerri’s actions and are allowed to draw your own conclusion that she’s angry. This is show. In the second, I’ve drawn the conclusion for you. This is tell. Decide for yourself which is more compelling to read.

Consider these examples from a critique submission.² The scene is written from the viewpoint of a teenage boy.

Tell: There was someone breaking into the house.Show: The trapdoor burst down and Ian jumped backwards. Dust showered the cardboard boxes that cluttered the closet floor. As soon as the ladder thunked down, a black boot stepped onto the top rung, followed by another.This example is the next sentence of the same submission.

Tell: [Ian’s] first thought was that he should probably get help, but he was much too distracted.Show: Before [Ian] could run for help, the shapely legs of the woman in the boots arrested him.Ian fails to move because of the intruder’s shapely legs. This shows that he’s distracted without saying, “He was distracted.” The phrase “before he could run for help” shows Ian’s thoughts without saying, “He thought he should get help.”

Here’s an example in which the same author did a delightful job of showing:

[Rhiannon] leaned forward, her eyes fixed on the artery that had begun to pulse faster as she leaned close to it.This is a great line. It shows the emotions of both characters. Rhiannon, whom you’ve surmised is a vampire, leans forward with her eyes fixed on Ian’s pulsing vein. It’s absolutely clear what she wants, and the author never said, “Rhiannon was hungry for blood.” Ian’s artery pulsing faster shows his fear without saying, “He was afraid,” or “He was excited.” Context will establish which emotion he’s actually feeling.

How to Show

Rewrite any sections in which you’ve told something. To find a way to show it, ask yourself this question: What can the viewpoint character see, hear, feel, smell, taste, or recall, that allows him to draw the conclusions that you’ve told instead of shown? In other words: How does he know this? If you’ve drawn a conclusion for the reader, the viewpoint character must also have drawn this conclusion. On what is his conclusion based?

If the viewpoint character has nothing upon which to base the conclusion, no way to know the thing you’ve told, then the section of tell constitutes a viewpoint violation. Delete it or find some other place in your manuscript to reveal the information. Keep in mind, though, that if you move it, it’s still tell. You must still convert it to show.

Be particularly attentive to dialog tags that tell emotion, as in this example:

“Herrera was on board.”“On the Phoenix?” Chase said, surprised. “What was he doing there?”You may have shown the emotion well enough through the actions, thoughts, and dialog of the character. If you have, that’s good. If not, find a way to do so. Either way, delete the part of the tag that tells emotion.

Below, I offer three ways to correct the passage above. I show Chase’s surprise through his actions, thoughts, and dialog, respectively.

“On the Phoenix?” Chase glanced at the central hologram, as if it could somehow confirm the news. “What was he doing there?”“On the Phoenix?” He couldn’t be. “What was he doing there?“On the Phoenix?” Chase said. “What the hell was he doing there?”If finding ways to effectively show your characters’ emotions is difficult for you, you’re not alone. For help, read my series “13 Ways to Show Character Emotions” beginning with part one.

¹Noah Lukeman. The First Five Pages. Simon & Schuster. 2000.
²Excerpts from critique submissions are reprinted with the permission of the original author.

This article was originally published in the May 2008 issue of SouthWest Sage, and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

The Best Writing Advice from SWW Authors

Posted on December 31, 2015 by

Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it. I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
~ Emerson

What better writing advice than that given by a published author?

In the course of interviewing SouthWest Writers’ authors for this website, one of the questions I asked was, “What advice would you give to beginning or discouraged writers?” Here are the answers compiled from ten of the interviews posted in 2015.

The publishing world is competitive, but writing shouldn’t be. No two writers will ever tell a story exactly the same way. Don’t be afraid to help those around you, or to learn from others. If you’re not improving and having fun as a writer, you may as well move on to something else. One of my characters once told me, “If you ain’t havin’ fun, you’re just wastin’ space.” That has become my motto. ~ Sarah Baker

Bumblebee physiology is inconsistent with flight, so instead of flapping their wings up and down like a bird, they wave them in a figure eight pattern. Unwilling to walk from flower to flower, they achieve their goal by working with the laws of physics to find a way to fly. It’s the same with writing: if one avenue doesn’t pan out, find another. ~ Olive Balla

Writing can be a box with rigid structures that are demanding and restrictive to one’s creative nature. On the other hand, writing can be as fluid as the ink that flows unto the paper. It can become a vehicle that opens up doors to new worlds of possibility and to dreams that have never been expressed. My hope is that every writer who feels the need for more freedom chooses the latter. ~ S.S. Bazinet

Don’t wait until it’s perfect, because it’ll never happen. Obviously, it’s necessary to do a thorough job editing, but it’s too easy to get hung up on minor things and never get the job done. ~ Susan C. Cooper

Just begin. Trust yourself and your words. Forget many of the things you learned about “rules.” As Mark David Gerson suggests in The Voice of the Muse, there are 13 rules. The first is: There are no rules. The story exists and you are the vehicle which carries it. ~ Elizabeth Ann Galligan

Discouragement is part of the writing game. So is perseverance. And perseverance will eventually win (think Thomas Edison). My advice: Keep honing your craft. Join a critique group and learn to take criticism; after all, they’re readers, and writers need readers. Realize your writing isn’t sacred and not to be changed in any way; remember, you can’t see mistakes in your own writing—you’re too close. ~ Larry Greenly

Don’t give up. Find publishers who’ve issued books similar to yours. Develop a great query to send them, one that will get their interest enough that they’ll even read your submission. Create a first page that grabs them. ~ Joyce Hertzoff

People who write are called writers. People who wait are called waiters. I’d advise you to write every day, if only for the sheer pleasure of it. Don’t worry about the Great American Novel, etc. Enjoy what you do! Or find something else to do, life is too short. ~ Robert Kidera

Learn to reject rejection. Get used to the idea that there is going to be a lot of rejection along the way. The secret is to never give up. If one person tells you no, ask someone else. Someone, somewhere, sometime will say yes. Move on to the next person. Someone is waiting to say yes. ~ Gale O’Brien

Set both weekly and monthly goals/deadlines for yourself. Write them down and work diligently toward achieving them. Buy an appointment book and schedule time for writing, rewriting and research. Your “great expectations” will be easier to achieve when you have established in writing what they are. ~ Shirley Raye Redmond

Image “Light at End of Tunnel” courtesy of lkunl / FreeDigitalPhotos.net