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Grammatically Correct: Mixed Constructions Nonsense

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200As writers, we can be lulled by careless speech into thinking that what we hear is correct on paper.

The reason the Yankees lost the series was because of their pitching.Sounds correct, doesn’t it? Phrases like the following often result in mixed construction: is when, is where, the reason … is or was.

These words suggest place, time, and causality; however, place, time, and causality often do not make sense with the verbs is, are, was, or were. After forms of the verb to be (is, are, was, were), a noun that renames the subject or an adjective that modifies the subject is customary. In the example above was is followed by an adverbial clause because of their pitching. The correct way to write the sentence is:

The Yankees lost the series because of their pitching.Misplaced, Limited and Dangling Modifiers
Mixed constructions are frequently related to misplaced and dangling modifiers because errors in these groups do not make logical or grammatical sense. Misplaced limiting modifiers are epidemic in speech. Use the following limiting modifiers cautiously: only, even, almost, nearly and just.

I only want my father to pay for tuition.In this sentence, only modifies the verb want. Surely the speaker has other wants. Do not put a limiting modifier in front of a verb, unless you intend to modify the verb. The rule is to place a limiting modifier directly in front of the word or words it modifies. The meaning of a sentence changes depending on where only is placed.

I want only my father to pay for tuition.
I want my father to pay for tuition only.Consider another example of a misplaced limiting modifier.

I just went to the grocery store, not to the bar.Just modifies went, but to what purpose? Correctly written, just limits grocery store, not went, as in the example that follows.

I went just to the grocery store, not to the bar.Sometimes you do want to limit the verb, as in the following example.

Sometimes, I can’t even find the keyboard, much less strike the keys.You may leave the grammatical subtleties to a paid copy editor, or you can save money by avoiding the faulty construction, which is often wordy as well as incorrect.

TracesOfAWoman100

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!

Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the June 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Dialogue Punctuation Basics

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200You’ve worked hard on several drafts of a writing project, and now you’re ready to review your dialogue punctuation.

End Punctuation

We know declarative sentences end with a period and interrogative sentences with a question mark, but how do the rules apply in dialogue? All punctuation marks go inside the quote marks, except colons and semi-colons; however, you are unlikely to use colons or semi-colons after quote marks, except in academic writing. Technically, you use a question mark outside of quotation marks if the entire sentence is a question, but this seldom applies to dialogue.

Do you know the expression “sleeping on a problem”?

In character dialogue, you can use a question mark with a structurally declarative sentence. “We’re going?” is allowable in context, especially if “aren’t we?” is implied.

Use a period if you or your characters are wondering or thinking about a question.

Bob wondered if he should attend the meeting? [Incorrect]
Bob wondered if he should attend the meeting. [Correct]

Use a period if you or your characters are reporting an indirect address. Notice that you don’t use quote marks with indirect address.

She said Bob didn’t know if he could get time off to attend the game. [Correct]

Avoid exclamations points!! Even one is often too many.

Dialogue Conventions and End Punctuation

Use quote marks for direct address. Commas, periods, question marks, and the rare exclamation point go inside the quote marks.

“Am I expected to climb that ladder”? she said. [Incorrect and ugly as well]
“Am I expected to climb that ladder?” she said. [Correct]

The question mark is not an end punctuation mark only. It can be used internally as part of a sentence, as in the correct example above. Also, you need not tag a question with he or she asked. The question mark makes asked redundant. However, you will occasionally want to emphasize the asking.

Single Quote Marks

Use single quote marks only if one of your characters is directly quoting another.

“I wasn’t expecting it,” she said. “Then he mumbled shyly, ‘So will you marry me?’”

If you have a scrupulous bent as I do, you might wonder about placing the single quote mark before the question mark. There is a perverse logic to doing so; however, resist the temptation. The convention is to add closing punctuation if the element warrants it, the single quote mark, and then the regular quote mark.

If a character speaks for more than one paragraph, start each paragraph with quote marks, but don’t close the quote in the previous paragraph until the speaker is finished speaking. In American genre fiction, it is rare for characters to speak for more than one paragraph or for more than a few sentences. In contemporary literary fiction longer character speeches are also losing popularity. Minimalist forms of technological communication are likely to exacerbate this trend.

More Dialogue Conventions

Each new speaker gets a new paragraph, even for a monosyllabic reply.

Generally, a character’s unspoken reaction to another character’s dialogue also starts a new paragraph. Decide if the reaction is worth a paragraph. Occasionally you can take liberties with reactions inside a single speaker’s dialogue when the reaction (or the absence of reaction, as in the example below) clarifies a character’s meaning or intention for the reader, but the reactions would be unnecessarily disruptive if formatted as paragraphs.

In the following example taken from my recent work, two brothers at dinner are discussing the care of their aging mother. Their conversation will continue after the section quoted below. Justine is the POV character.

“Momma doesn’t hint,” Carmello said. “She wants you to come around more often?”

“Not that.” Bernardo rolled his eyes. “It’s always that, but today she said I should call more because she could fall over dead and nobody would know until her body stank.”

Carmello grinned. “That’s the mother I know and love.”

“You don’t check in on her every few days?” Bernardo said.

Justine [Carmello’s wife] had been listening attentively to the brothers and now discovered them both looking at her. She swallowed the last bite of bluefish that suddenly tasted dry. “Are you sure you won’t have some salad, Bobo?” Bernardo declined. “Can I get you anything?” Carmello also declined.

The fact that the brothers each decline Justine’s attention-shifting offer of food is not worth a paragraph or two paragraphs in this case. The reactions are important to what Justine says and to the assumption the two brothers make about actual care of their mother. The passage also illustrates the customary placement of punctuation marks inside the quote marks before a tag is added with its end punctuation. Notice the use of the question mark in a structurally declarative sentence to show a characteristic way of speaking: “She wants you to come around more often?” Also notice the indirect address in the second paragraph. “It’s always that, but today she said I should call more because she could fall over dead. . . .”

One last point: If a tag interrupts a sentence of dialogue, you should continue the sentence mechanics.

“Will you,” he said, “go to the meeting with me?”

“I’m finished,” she said. “Do the rest yourself.”

TracesOfAWoman100

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!

Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the September 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: Mixed Constructions Make No Sense

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200Sentence parts that do not fit together grammatically or logically result in a mixed construction. Although readers will see and hear the logical error first, the cause of the error is often mechanical. Writers force parts of speech to take on grammatical functions for which they are not designed. The example below shows both errors.

For athletes who play contact sports have increased risk of arthritis later in their lives.

The first part of the sentence goes off track between the words sports and have. Most readers hear and see the error immediately. The long prepositional phrase For athletes who play contact sports is in a subject position. By rule, a prepositional phrase cannot be a subject of a sentence. It can only function as a modifier.

Writers can start a sentence with a prepositional phrase by way of introduction, but then they need to add a proper subject and verb in an independent clause, as in the example below.

For athletes who play contact sports, arthritis is a risk later in their lives.

The same problem occurs with adverbial clauses in the subject position. And the same solution is available.

When students are late is very distracting to other students.

The adverbial phrase When students are late cannot be the subject of a sentence. Like prepositional phrases, the function of adverbial phrases is to modify.

When students are late, they distract other students.

But another revision is also possible. Change the adverbial phrase into a gerund phrase. The gerund phrase can be the subject of a sentence.

Being late to class is very distracting.

Or revise the sentence based on who or what is the actor/subject of the sentence.

Students who are late to class are very distracting.

A mixed construction also occurs when writers use a coordinating conjunction to separate a dependent clause from an independent clause. Review the FANBOYS acronym (from my article “Grammatically Correct: Fixing Run-on Sentences”) to remember coordinating conjunctions: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So.

Although celebrities live charmed lives, yet they can have serious drug problems.

Either although or yet needs to be deleted.

Celebrities live charmed lives, yet they can have serious drug problems.
Although celebrities live charmed lives, they can have serious drug problems.

Sometimes artists draw with their non-dominant hand to bring attention to how their drawing tools affect their creative execution. A way for writers to bring heightened attention to their creative expression is to concentrate on their grammar tools. As a rule, writers do not want to impede the flow of words to page, especially in early stages of a draft. As an exercise, however, noticing subject choices and the verbs connected to them helps writers see where weaknesses in sentence construction occur.

TracesOfAWoman100

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!

Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the May 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: The Secret Life of Pronouns

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200The problem with pronouns is them turn up where him least expect those, which case they is confused by who. Any questions?

No errors show up when Microsoft Word’s grammar checker is used on the opening sentence of this article. It’s possible the sentence received a pass because the errors in it crashed the correction function. Enough said about relying on a grammar checker for pronoun errors.

Consider the types of pronouns writers need to use correctly: personal, demonstrative, indefinite, interrogative, possessive, reciprocal, reflexive, and relative. I tell my English 101 students that I don’t care if they know the names of parts of speech, so long as they use words correctly. For writers, however, knowing the parts of speech and how they function is essential to craft. After all, if writers were painters they would know how and when to mix cadmium white and cerulean blue.

In my previous article, “Grammatically Correct: Pronoun Consistency,” I concentrated on pronoun agreement using personal and indefinite pronouns. In this column, I will note a few rules that help writers avoid the vague use of they, it, and you. A frequent error comes in the form of they say or it says constructions.

They predict that Federer will not be in the Australian Open finals this year.

The pronoun they must refer to a specific antecedent, and there is none.

Bloggers predict that Federer will not be in the Australian Open finals this year.

Bloggers is almost as vague as they, but it is a noun.

Writers who use the pronoun it carelessly can also go astray. The clause above—but it is a noun—uses it correctly because it refers back to bloggers. Students frequently use the following faulty construction.

In the essay, it says Romeo was a teenager.

The construction is not simply wordy and vague. The pronoun it has no specific antecedent. A corrected version can be written as:

The essay describes Romeo as a teenager.

The pronoun you should not be used in a general sense to refer to a group. It should be used when the writer directly addresses the reader.

The rule book says you cannot bat out of turn.

Many people speak this way informally, but writers can maintain an informal tone and still write correctly. The tone is not appreciably changed by the correct form:

The rule book says players cannot bat out of turn.

Notice how correct grammar helps writers achieve clarity.

TracesOfAWoman100

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the March 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Misused Words: Farther/Further, Few/Less, That/Which

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200Most standard grammar texts include a section of pairs of words that are frequently misspelled and misused. If you are in doubt about a usage, look it up. You can’t rely on the computer grammar checker.

One pair of words frequently misused is farther/further. The guidelines are simple, but the applications can be tricky. The rule of thumb is farther refers to distance. If distance is not an issue, further refers to quantity or degree.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary (11th edition), however, farther/further are often used interchangeably as adverbs when spatial, temporal, or metaphorical distance is involved. That liberty is part of the historical usage of this pair. Standard English follows the guideline about distance or degree.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. [Correct]
How much farther is the swimming hole? [Correct]
Your support will further her career. [Correct]
There is no further discussion. [Correct]

A second pair of frequently misused words is few/less. The rule of thumb is that if you can count the persons or things in question, use few. If you cannot count the items, use less.

Few of the graduating class could afford the trip. [Correct]
Less candy is better for your diet. [Correct]

Trusting again to the Merriam-Webster source, less is likely to modify collective nouns, mass nouns, or nouns denoting an abstract whole. Fewer applies to matters of numbers and modifies plural nouns. Although grammar purists dislike interchanging few and less, less can modify plural nouns when distance or sums of money are involved.

Less also appears in a few fixed phrases such as:
. . . less than 100 miles
. . . an investment of less than $20,000
. . . in 25 words or less

This explanation is less than helpful. [Correct]
Take a few cookies and forget about it. [Correct]

That and which are often used incorrectly depending on the phrase or clause they introduce. If you are speaking about persons, avoid that or which. Persons take who.

The boy which the coach picked was tall. [Incorrect]
The boy that the coach picked was tall. [Incorrect]
The boy who the coach picked was tall. [Correct]

Notice, however, a group of people can take that.

The teams that coaches like win games. [Correct]

In addition to this caution, use that when the phrase or clause attached to it is restrictive or essential to the meaning. If the modifier is essential, do not use a comma with it.

Trained dogs, that sniff for drugs, are essential for law enforcement. [Incorrect]

The phrase that sniff for drugs is essential to the type of dog referred to, restricting the dogs to those trained for sniffing drugs and excluding other types of dogs such as dogs trained to roll over.

Trained dogs that sniff for drugs are essential for law enforcement. [Correct]

If the modifier is nonrestrictive or not essential, use which and use a comma to separate it from whatever it modifies.

New Orleans which is my favorite city is below sea level. [Incorrect]

Which is my favorite city is not essential to a sentence regarding the location of New Orleans at sea level. Therefore, it needs commas to set it off.

New Orleans, which is my favorite city, is below sea level. [Correct]

You will occasionally see which used in a restrictive manner, but the rule of thumb is relatively easy to remember.

Some sources about usage are prescriptive; they explain what should be done. Some sources are descriptive; they explain what is actually in use at a specific time. Writers should make friends with their dictionaries and grammar texts in order to make educated decisions about the sources they favor.

TracesOfAWoman100

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the August 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: Pronoun Consistency

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200Correct use of pronouns includes agreement with an antecedent, clear reference to an antecedent, and appropriate case selection. An antecedent is the noun that a pronoun substitutes for. All related pronouns and antecedents must agree in number—all singular or all plural.

Maria carried her son.
The parents carried their children.

Indefinite Pronouns

A frequent error is using plural pronouns with indefinite pronoun antecedents. Be on guard for the following words. Some may look plural, but they all require singular agreement.

anybody each everyone
nobody somebody anyone
either everything no one
someone anything everybody
neither nothing something

Everyone wants to do their best. [Incorrect]
Everyone wants to do his or her best. [Correct]

In addition to using his or her, another way to correct mismatched indefinite pronoun antecedents and plural pronouns is to make the antecedent plural.

People want to do their best.

Making the antecedent plural is the easiest solution, and it avoids the wordy his or her repetition. Making the antecedent plural also avoids gender assumptions such as all doctors are male and all flight attendants are female.

The doctors went to their cars. [Not: The doctor went to his car.]
The flight attendants took their seats. [Not: The flight attendant took her seat.]

Generic or Collective Nouns

A second type of agreement error is using plural pronouns with generic nouns or collective nouns. Generic nouns refer to one member of a group such as trucker or cowboy.

The cowboy ethos includes a loner and his horse.

Collective nouns ordinarily operate as a unit, so the noun and its related pronouns should be singular.

The jury gave its verdict.

If the meaning is clearly plural, use the plural, but to be on the safe side, add a plural antecedent.

Members of the jury announced their verdict.

Errors with generic or collective nouns and pronouns can be corrected by the same three methods described for common agreement errors: use the singular his or her, create plural antecedents, or rewrite the sentence.

Compound Antecedents

Finally, note that compound antecedents joined with and are usually plural.

Jack and Jill went to their favorite watering hole.

However, compound antecedents joined by or or nor (or with (n)either/(n)or combinations) agree with the closest antecedent.

Neither the students nor Mr. Ghastly finished his job. [This is correct but should be rewritten to avoid confusion.]
Neither Mr. Ghastly nor the students finished their jobs. [Better]

TracesOfAWoman

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the February 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: Me, Myself, and I

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200

The personal pronouns, I and me are frequently used incorrectly because writers do not remember the rules for case. Case is the grammatical functions pronouns have in sentences. To make matters worse, speakers regularly use myself in place of I or me because they do not know which is correct.

Do not be confused by celebrities who have a penchant for me, myself, and I.

Use subjective case I for all subjects.

My co-star and me are just friends. [Wrong]
My co-star and myself flirted innocently at the gala. [Wrong]
My co-star and I are cheating on our spouses. [Correct]
I lived above the garage because my mother and me argued constantly. [Wrong]
I lived above the garage because my mother and I argued constantly. [Correct]

Use subjective case I for subject complements. Subject complements are additional information about the subject/actor, and they follow linking verbs. In dialog, writers can have characters speak idiomatically. A character enters a house, and his spouse calls to him from another room. “Is that you?” The character will probably answer, “It’s me.” Regardless of how often It’s me is said, writers should know the correct form.

It is I. [Correct]

Notice this strange subject complement structure.

I denied that the thief was me. [wrong]

Sometimes it helps to reorganize the sentence to tease out the correct form. Me was the thief, obviously does not work.

I denied that the thief was I. [Correct]

In this instance, the correct form is stiff. If writers prefer, they can rewrite the sentence.

I denied that I was the thief. [Correct]

None of the above examples will support the use of myself. Remember: Myself is always wrong as a substitute for I or me.

Use the objective case me for all object positions.

Object of a preposition. The easiest usage to remember is object of a preposition. Prepositions are words that connect nouns or pronouns to other words in the sentence, usually for purposes of modifying the other words. To, from, and with, for example, are prepositions, and they are always followed by objective case pronouns.

The clerk gave the bag to my girlfriend and myself. [Always wrong]
The clerk gave the bag to my girlfriend and I. [Wrong]
The clerk gave the bag to me. [Correct]

Direct or indirect objects of verbs. Briefly, a direct object receives the action of a verb. An indirect object tells the reader to whom or for whom the action of the sentence is done. Thus,

They gave I the gift. [Obviously wrong]
They gave me the gift. [Correct]
They gave the gift to Robert and I. [Familiar, but wrong]
They gave the gift to Robert and me. [Correct]

When speakers and writers are unsure about this structure, they are often tempted to use myself.

They gave the gift to Robert and myself. [Wrong]

Resist the temptation. Myself is a reflexive or intensive pronoun. It should never be substituted for I or me.

I weighed myself. [Reflexive]
I took him to the doctor myself. [Intensive]

A simple matrix will help keep the important elements in order.

Subjective Case Objective Case Possessive Case
Singular I Me My
You You You
He, She, It Him, Her, It His, Her, Its
Plural We Us Our
You You Your
They Them Their

Although the focus of this article is on I and me, case rules that apply to I and me apply to all personal pronouns.

TracesOfAWoman

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the July 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: To Comma or Not to Comma

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200

If writers understand the basic rules for comma usage, they will not worry about unnecessary commas. However, some people prefer to operate by what not to do. That’s why even the most rigorous grammar texts include sections on unnecessary commas.

Most writers know that a comma is necessary between compound independent clauses, and the comma is followed by a coordinating conjunction to be correct.

Bob returned the lawnmower, and he asked to borrow the clippers. [Correct]

Most writers also know that if the subject (he) of the second clause is removed, the comma is also deleted.

Bob returned the lawnmower and asked to borrow the clippers. [Correct]

The compound elements returned the lawnmower (verb and object) and asked to borrow the clippers (verb and object) are connected without a comma.

So the rule is: No comma between compound elements unless the elements are independent clauses.

A slightly more complicated version of this application occurs when the compound elements are subordinate clauses.

She said that she was serious, but that she wasn’t rigid. [Incorrect]

The compound elements are both dependent clauses introduced by that, so no comma is necessary.

She said that she was serious but that she wasn’t rigid. [Correct]

Another curious rule regarding unnecessary commas: No comma between an adjective and a noun or between an adverb and an adjective. Most writers would never use a comma between an adjective and a noun in a sentence like the following.

It was a dirty job. [Correct]

Some writers have a problem when the adjective noun occurs as part of a series.

It was a boring, dirty, job. [Incorrect]

It was a boring, dirty job. [Correct]

If writers remember how to use an adjective and noun (dirty job), they can apply the rule to adverb and adjective combinations.

He was a dangerously, rebellious boy. [Incorrect]

He was a dangerously rebellious boy. [Correct]

As in many situations, judgment calls are the most difficult. Another rule for unnecessary commas is: No commas to set off restrictive or mildly parenthetical elements. Simply stated, commas are unnecessary if the element restricts the meaning or is essential for the meaning.

The film, Hero, is an epic of Chinese history. [Incorrect]

The film Hero is an epic of Chinese history. [Correct]

Not just any film is an epic of Chinese history. The specific film is essential to the meaning.

Judgment calls also come with parenthetical expressions. The following sentence contains the rule and the example.

Some parenthetical expressions, by the nature of the qualifying information contained in them, require commas. [Correct]

However, when it comes to unnecessary commas the rule is: No commas to set off mildly parenthetical expressions.

She, essentially, taught reading and writing. [Incorrect]

She essentially taught reading and writing. [Correct]

Comma usage is one reason writers keep a grammar book on their work tables. When in doubt, check the table of contents or the index under unnecessary commas.

TracesOfAWoman

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the October 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammatically Correct: Fixing Run-on Sentences

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200Complex and compound sentences add depth and nuance to writing, but they must be constructed and connected correctly; otherwise, the errors make us look like amateurs.

This is a run-on sentence it contains two independent clauses incorrectly connected.

An independent clause is a group of words that can stand alone as a sentence; however, two independent clauses cannot be in the same sentence without a proper connection. If we omit a connection, the error is a fused sentence (as above). If we place a comma between the independent clauses, the error is a comma splice (below).

This is a run-on sentence, it contains two independent clauses incorrectly connected.

Comma splices are relatively easy to repair. After the comma, simply add one of the seven coordinating conjunctions. The mnemonic FANBOYS contains the coordinating conjunctions: FOR, AND, NOR, BUT, OR, YET and SO.

A semi-colon between independent clauses will also repair a run-on sentence.

This is no longer a run-on sentence; it contains two independent clauses correctly connected.

If the second independent clause explains the first (or summarizes it), we could replace the semi-colon with a colon or a dash. Use the dash only in informal writing.

This is no longer a run-on sentence: it contains two independent clauses correctly connected.

We can also repair run-on sentences by using a semi-colon, a transitional expression, and a comma, as in the sentence below. Transitional expressions include conjunctive adverbs such as therefore, consequently, however, and other transitional phrases like as a matter of fact, for example, and on the other hand.

This is no longer a run-on sentence; as a matter of fact, it contains two independent clauses correctly connected.

We can also restructure run-on sentences by making one of the independent clauses dependent. Then, we need only a comma to separate the clauses. If the independent clause begins the sentence, we can usually omit the separating comma.

While some sentences run on, others are short.
Some sentences are short while others run on.

These tips are guidelines. For better or worse, published writers frequently ignore grammar conventions.

TracesOfAWoman

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies.

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the January 2011 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



Grammar Tips: Excuse Me. Your Modifier Is Dangling.

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by Dodici Azpadu

061957-firey-orange-jelly-icon-people-things-people-singing200Dangling modifiers hint at a subject, but fail to refer logically to any words in the sentence. They cause confusion; occasionally, they cause a smile. Easy to correct, dangling modifiers are often difficult to spot. Look at the sentences below.

As a young man, my sister often pushed her girlfriends on me.
Seated in the car, the soft music filled my ear buds.

We can usually grasp the meaning of these faulty sentences, but when a sentence opens with a modifying word or clause, readers expect the subject of the next clause to name the actor of the modification.

We cannot simply move the modifier to a different part of the sentence. Look what happens to the examples.

My sister often pushed her girlfriends on me as a young man. [The gender is still mixed.]
The soft music filled my ear buds seated in the car. [Along with your tush.]

Repair the sentence by naming the actor in the subject of the sentence or in the modifier.

When I was a young man, my sister often pushed her girlfriends on me.
Seated in the car, I listened to soft music fill my ear buds.

Sometimes modifiers are simply misplaced. My personal favorite follows.

The bandit was a six-foot-tall cowboy with a heavy mustache, weighing 160 pounds.

Readers should be able to see immediately the relationship of the words. In order to avoid dangling modifiers, we are sometimes in a hurry to name a subject.

The politician, after years of corruption, greed, and nepotism, was voted out of office.

Generally, we should avoid long phrases that separate a subject and verb. Try this:

After years of corruption, greed, and nepotism, the politician was voted out of office.

Correct written grammar and standard punctuation don’t come easily to many of us. Language is always changing, and technology has accelerated the pace of change. I frequently refer to The Bedford Handbook by Diana Hacker and Nancy Sommers because I’ve taught college writing from it for years. The Elements of Style by Shrunk and White is also excellent.

TracesOfAWoman

Dodici Azpadu, MFA, PhD is a novelist, short story writer, and poet. Her fiction publications include: Saturday Night in the Prime of Life and Goat Song (Aunt Lute/Spinsters Ink) and subsequently Onlywoman (London, England). Living Room (2010) and Traces of a Woman (2014), both by Neuma Books, are available as ebooks. She’s currently at work on a novel, tentatively titled Living Lies. 

WearingThePhantomOut100Her poetry publications include Wearing the Phantom Out (2013) and Rumi’s Falcon from Neuma Books. Individual poems have appeared in Malpais Review, Adobe Walls, ContraACultura (online), Parnassus, Sinister Wisdom, Latuca, The Rag, and The Burning Bush. Her work has also been anthologized in Centos: A Collage of Poems and Hey Pasean!
Dodici teaches “The Joy of Poetry” and “Craft of Creating Writing” classes through University of New Mexico’s Osher Lifelong Learning.

This article was originally published in the December 2010 issue of SouthWest Sage and is reprinted here by permission of the author.



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